17 Apr One Crazy Easter Break
Did you, like me, think you’d take a few days off over Easter, put your feet up and your elasticated tracky bottoms on and relax, certain that the only danger on the horizon was the amount of chocolate bunnies you’d be consuming, only to wake in your egg box retreat and discover the Easter Bunny had bolted and the Mad Hatter had taken over the world.
First Trump u-turned, from not wanting to be the policeman of the world to being the daddy of all policemen, dropping bombs on Syria and Afghanistan – and not just any old bombs either ‘the mother of all bombs’ on IS in Afghanistan and firing 59 Tomahawk missiles on Syria.
Then Kim Jong-un, to celebrate his grandfather’s creation of North Korea, took root on his balcony, waving as his army and weaponry passed by him in a day long procession. Like an episode of the Generation Game for despots, the TV reporter read out the list for Jong-un to remember; a collection of tanks, a mass of land based artillery, a long range cannon, multiple rocket launches, ballistic missiles, an intercontinental ballistic missile was it a KN-08 or a KN-14? Jong-un or is that Wrong-un, you decide. Well he, the smiling adult-child – more scary than any of his weaponry – watched on, checking everyone was smiling and suitably in awe of him, which they were for fear of repercussions. You only need to ask his uncle …. oh no, you can’t do that!
The backdrop of colours was beautiful, the precision of the flag turning terrific, the dancing children slightly terrifying, but the missiles, well they looked more arts and craft than state of the art and proved as such when the test missile backfired like an ill lit Catherine wheel on bonfire night. Not that the Pentagon are letting us think that. No, it was seemingly their cyber sleuths that managed to hack the missile systems, getting the missile ‘confused’ then destructing itself.
In less than a week the G7 were meeting, NATO was voting, Erdogan had seized power from his people, China was performing head swivelling negotiations with South Korea and America, and Mike Pence was clocking up enough Air Force 1 air miles to get him and his wife a 2 week holiday to France just in time for the elections.
Meanwhile back in Florida Trump, having started and stopped a world crisis in less time than it takes the Easter Bunny to deliver all his eggs, was back on his golf course, chipping and putting his way to the last hole. Suddenly all was right with the world! Trump had turned turmoil into triumph. The madness of the Hatter gone, news and fake news resumed, all ready for work on Tuesday.
Now that’s what I call a break … a reality break!